


Wasted Heart

by goodgirlfaith (boomersoonerash)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - America, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Band, Angst, Angst and Feels, Break Up, Broken Engagement, Cunnilingus, Dreams, Established Relationship, Exes, F/M, Famous Luke Hemmings, Flashbacks, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers to Exes, Heterosexual Sex, Los Angeles, New York City, Non-Linear Narrative, Oral Sex, Sexual Content, Vaginal Sex, Woman on Top
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-05-25 10:51:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14975630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomersoonerash/pseuds/goodgirlfaith
Summary: Avery and Luke were high school sweethearts who got engaged young, though, only a few months in she called everything off. Now a couple of years later thanks to Avery's job they are brought back together. Though both have seemingly moved on, or at least it seems that way.





	1. We get bored so we get married

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Mary Mary quite contrary,_  
_We get bored so we get married_  
_And just like dust we settle in this town_  
_On this broken merry go 'round and 'round and 'round we go,_  
_Where it stops nobody knows,_  
_And it ain't slowin' down, this merry go 'round_

_Avery let her eyes wander down to the engagement ring she wore on her finger as she found herself sitting on the balcony of the apartment she shared with her sister in New York City._

_It was a ring she had been given tonight by the boy she had been dating since they were both freshmen in high school. A boy who had maybe foolishly followed her to New York from their hometown of Tulsa._

_"Do you think I made a mistake?" Avery asked her sister as she turned to look at her curiously. Raising her hand to show off a ring Jessica had already seen once tonight when Luke and Avery had gotten back from dinner and shared the news of their engagement._

_Something Avery was sure Jessica knew was coming. Jessica had probably went with Luke to buy the ring._

_A purchase Avery was sure had been made before she and Luke had left from Tulsa, to move in with Jessica last week. Avery having to come because she had gotten accepted into an art school here and Luke, well, he just followed the girl he loved because it seemed he had been doing that his whole life._

_He had been following her and sometimes Avery felt like she took him for granted. He deserved better than her._

_"I think the better question here is do you feel like you made a mistake Avery?" Jessica questioned and Avery hated the way she turned the question around on her._

_She also hated that she had to think about it because if she had to think about it, then didn't that answer the question? It was a mistake._

_"Is it bad I have to think about it?" Avery asked though she felt like she already knew the answer._

_Of course it was bad that she had to think about it._

_"You want an honest reply to that?"_

_Shaking her head Avery frowned, "No, because I know it is," she told her honestly, hating herself a bit. "I love Luke, I do."_

_"But you aren't ready for marriage?" Jessica asked her but it was more of a statement than a question._

_"Not yet," Avery stated as she ran a hand through her hair. "Not by a long shot."_

_"Well, I guess the good thing for you is engagements can last a long time and I'm sure Luke will wait as long as you want.That boy would do anything you wanted him too."_

_Going silent Avery frowned because she knew Jessica had a point with her last statement and honestly Luke did deserve so much better than her._

_He deserved someone who wanted to be his fiancee now instead of having regrets. Yet even with that knowledge, Avery knew she wasn't going to let him go. It wasn't easy letting go of someone you still loved even if you weren't sure you loved them enough._

_Because what if she realized after he was gone that she did love him enough?_

_"I'm going to go to bed now," Avery said as she stood from where she was sitting, heading back inside the apartment and down the hallway to the bedroom where Luke already was in bed._

_Having gone to bed an hour ago because he started a job tomorrow at a coffee shop not far from the apartment and hell Avery herself started a job tomorrow as well and then the day after tomorrow her classes started so she really needed a normal sleeping routine._

_But tonight she had just needed to clear her mind before going to bed. Something she was sure she failed at because she still had troubled thoughts._

_Slipping inside the bedroom Avery didn't even bother turning on anything to help her see as she made her way to the bed. Instead she just used what light was coming in from the moon as well as some of the city lights that were still shining._

_The old saying that New York was the city that didn't sleep holding true._

_Laying down beside Luke when she made it to the bed, Avery had just gotten her eyes shut when she felt Luke's arm slip around her waist softly. His body moving closer to hers almost apprehensively._

_The action being enough to let her know that he wasn't asleep._

_"Do you have regrets about agreeing to marry me?" Luke asked softly his breath hitting the back of her neck. Making goosebumps form on Avery's arms._

_"Did you hear my conversation with Jessie?" Avery asked softly too, though her words were more a statement than a question._

_She knew in her gut that he had heard. More than likely because she had forgot to shut the window after having it open this afternoon when she was painting and their window was on the same side as the balcony._

_"Yeah," Luke admitted quicker than Avery had expected him too. She had expected resistance or something from him._

_Instead she got honesty._

_Closing her eyes briefly Avery turned over so that she was facing Luke, their eyes locking in the dark._

_"I don't regret it," she told him even as her words tasted like acid in her mouth, burning her throat as she spoke them. "I guess I just think we're young though and maybe we should have a long engagement," she told him with a shrug of her shoulders._

_Her breath feeling like it had stopped as she waited for him to say something, the silence feeling like an eternity to her even though it wasn't._

_Not really._

_"We could just call the engagement off and do it another time," Luke spoke but despite his words Avery knew that wasn't what he truly wanted._

_He wanted to be engaged to her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her even as young as they were._

_It was her who was the one having issues, which, meant more than likely that she wasn't ready. The thought plaguing her because did that mean he wasn't the one for her?_

_Instead of answering him Avery just leaned in, impulsively kissing him because the last thing she wanted was to be having this conversation._

_She'd rather do something that made her feel better than talking about this and kissing him still felt good. Didn't make her second guess anything._

_Avery feeling almost thankful when Luke kissed her back. Her body moving as he pushed her back against the bed, his hand sliding up and under the old Led Zeppelin t-shirt she had on. A shiver running down her spine as he laid over her._

_The kiss between them getting a bit fevered at that._

_But she wasn't complaining because this was still better than talking. Way better than talking._

_Pulling away from the kiss briefly Avery eventually lifted her own shirt off. Throwing it to the floor before kissing Luke again. Their clothes being shed quicker after that._

_Like a button had been switched once her shirt was gone. Both of them seemingly on the same page now it seemed. Running from having any huge conversation about their relationship._

_Despite the fact that they had just taken a huge step by getting engaged tonight._

_Even if maybe getting engaged was a mistake itself._

_Once they were both naked Avery flipped them over so that she was the one on top. Her hand reaching between them as she wrapped it around Luke's cock. Stroking him from semi hardness to full hardness._

_While also getting a slight thrill with the moans he let out in between kisses. Avery knowing she had him in the palm of her hand literally and figuratively speaking._

_Moving her hand away once she felt he was hard enough, Avery pulled away from the kiss. Looking down at him as she moved to slide down on his cock. Both of them moaning at the feeling of him inside of her._

_Avery always liking the way he stretched her. The way he fit inside of her so well._

_"I love you," Avery told him honestly as she began to ride him slowly. Feeling his hands coming to rest on her waist. "Love you so fucking much Luke."_

_Luke seemed to smile at that as he moved up some. Avery letting her arms slip around his neck as she moved in to meet him for a brief kiss._

_"I love you too Avie," Luke whispered and even with his words Avery heard doubt in them but she had a gut feeling he wasn't doubting his own words._

_Because of what he had heard tonight he was doubting her. He wasn't sure if she really loved him._

_Instead of saying anything more though. They both fell silent as they continued to have sex. Avery's head resting in the crook Luke's neck when her orgasm hit. Her body stilling in his arms and because of that she didn't miss the way his nails dug farther into the skin at her waist when he came._

_Avery pushing him back some after that. Sliding off him but finding a way to still stay tangled against him. Her lips leaving light kisses on the skin at his neck._

_"You know, I just realized something," Avery stated hearing him making a hmming noise in question. "I kinda miss your lip ring," she told him._

_Her words making both of them laugh eventually and just like that whatever tension the sex hadn't killed. Her statement had._

_"I haven't had the damn thing in a year Avery," Luke spoke with a whine as his fingertips lightly trailed her skin. Her eyes falling shut at the action. "You tell me that now?"_

_"It just hit me now," Avery defended her words soft because she was getting sleepy now. "It was hot though. So fucking hot and I kind of liked the feel of it when you ate me out."_

_Luke let out a laugh that was more of a snort. The sound of it still doing funny things to Avery like it did the first time she heard it when she realized the depth of her feelings for the boy she had known for so long._

_"Goodnight Avery," Luke spoke though instead of saying anything else and Avery didn't have it in her to fight him about that._

_She was too tired._

_"Night Luke," she muttered out softly. Not even sure if he heard her because of how soft her voice was._

*****

Waking with a start Avery opened her eyes as she looked around the room she was in. As well as the body beside her. A frown on her face because it wasn't Luke beside her.

Though she had just been dreaming about him. 

It hadn't been him beside her for about three years now. When she had ended things just two months into their engagement. Telling him she hadn't been ready for marriage and she knew it had crushed him.

Knew she had ripped his heart out of his chest but she would have rather been honest than lied and married him.

"You okay?" a sleepy sounding voice asked and Avery turned her head to look at Michael. The boy she had been dating for a year now.

Having met him through mutual friends when she had moved out to California. The job she had for a magazine in New York City eventually bringing her here just eight months after her called off engagement and meeting Michael had been fast and unexpected.

Enough that most of her friends that she knew while she had been dating Luke called it a rebound. Her sister Jessica called it a rebound as well...when she actually spoke with Avery that was.

Because in the past few months her sister had been distant and she wasn't exactly sure why.

"I'm fine," Avery lied as she laid back down beside Michael. "Just a bad dream was all," she told him as she moved closer to him in bed. "I think it's because I'm just so damn nervous about this mysterious celebrity my magazine wants me to interview as well as the stress over my sister coming to town."

"Everything will be alright," Michael told her sounding positive in his words. His arm slipping around her waist so effortlessly. "But you know if you want to relieve some stress we could fuck and then go back to sleep."

Laughing softly Avery hit his chest playfully, "No," she said with a sigh. "I mean I'd love to fuck you, don't get me wrong but I really need sleep."

"Yeah, yeah. If you say so," Michael mumbled before kissing her forehead.

Avery smiling slightly despite still feeling unsettled from the dream she had. Almost still being able to feel Luke's touch or what she remembered Luke's touch having felt like when he held her.

Not that she didn't love Michael holding her but Luke had been her home for so long that maybe her body missed that sometimes.

"Love you Mike," Avery whispered softly as she gave herself over to sleep. Hoping that she didn't dream of Luke anymore because it was hard to shake the memories after she had.

Hard to remind herself she had let him go.


	2. I don't wanna let it burn in the city lights

_I don't wanna say goodbye to another night_   
_And watch you walk away_   
_And I don't wanna let it burn in the city lights_   
_And make the same mistakes, this time_

__

_"Why are you telling me this?" Luke asked harshly as he looked over at Avery._

_She was the girl he had loved since forever and she was the girl he had once just a few months back thought he'd marry one day. Had popped the question and everything ten months ago._

_But now here he was ten months later and they weren't engaged. They weren't even living in the same place, though occasionally he was dumb and let her back in. Had been letting her back in almost once a week for the past eight months._

_Luke hating that he kept track of everything but how could he not. Keeping track of how long it had been since Avery broke his heart was easier for him._

_Though all it did was remind him as well that he wasn't moving on. How could he move on when they were still having sex once a week?_

_The only thing that really seemed to help him, if he were honest, was getting drunk and writing his feelings out in the forms of songs. Songs he hoped to one day record and put on an album._

_An album that he knew would be all about the girl standing in front of him. The girl who had just got done telling him that she was moving to California. Something about a job transfer out there and he wasn't sure why she had told him._

_It wasn't like he could just follow her. He wasn't allowed to be that boy anymore because the moment their engagement had ended so had their relationship._

_At least the dating aspect. The sex was harder to cut out for the both of them._

_"I don't know why I'm telling you," Avery spoke after what seemed like ages. "I just thought you should know. I leave in a week," she added on._

_Luke swore she only did that to kick him harder mentally and emotionally. Harder than she already had._

_She was leaving in a week and he wasn't crazy, he knew he'd never see her again once she left the apartment he was sharing with a friend he had made through his work at a bar._

_Avery wouldn't come back to New York even if being here had been her dream all along._

_Then again it seemed in the span of their break up the Avery he knew was changing. She had dropped out of college, devoting all her time to the magazine she worked for._

_A job she had landed thanks to the recommendation of one of their high school teachers. The teacher who ran the school newspaper that Avery had helped run._

_Luke knowing being a journalist wasn't her dream. He just wasn't sure why Avery had it in her head it was now._

_He wasn't sure why she was intent on ruining her own life. Couldn't she just be content with the fact that she had ripped his apart?_

_Because at least one of them deserved to be happy and as much as she hurt him, he wanted it to be her._

_Running a hand through his hair, Luke finally found the courage to move. Hating that all his legs did was take him to her. The last place he wanted to be was near her._

_"Can you stay the night?" he asked softly hating the way his voice cracked because he didn't want to cry. Refused to cry because of her again and refused to cry in front of her._

_Avery let out a sigh as she avoided his gaze, "I didn't come for sex," she told him though the way she was acting he knew it was a lie._

_She wanted to fuck him and then leave him the next morning before he woke, like she always did. Except this time she wouldn't be coming back in a week._

_She'd be off starting a life in California._

_"I didn't say we had to have sex," Luke snapped slightly which seemed to make her finally look at him. "We can just sleep in the same bed. Like old times..just please stay the night," he sighed before leaning into her._

_His eyes falling shut briefly when she let her hands come to rest on either side of his cheeks. The action being enough to set his body on fire._

_"I'll stay," Avery finally relented, her voice soft and the words she said made Luke open his eyes again as a smile over took his face._

_Luke pulling away from her as he lead the way down to his room. Not sure yet what they were going to do to kill time before they eventually had sex._

_Because sex in the end was what they both wanted. Even if Avery wanted to pretend it wasn't._

*****

_Luke raised an eyebrow as he watched Avery scrunch up her nose as she sat in front of him on the bed. Clad in nothing but her bra and panties._

_Something that only happened because he had asked her to pose for pictures for him. He wanted something to remember her by once she was gone._

_Something that was all his and no one else's._

_"How many more pictures do you have to take?" Avery asked him, a hint of a whine in her tone. "Because I feel very underdressed right now," she told him as her eyes narrowed at him some._

_A blush starting on his cheeks at her gaze._

_"I'd be fine getting just as undressed as you are," Luke offered as he snapped another picture when she flipped him off after he said that._

_"Can I take pictures of you in your underwear Lu?"_

_Blushing at her question, Luke sat his camera down on the bed before he started to undress._

_"You can do whatever you please Avie," he told her watching as she picked his camera up and he rolled his eyes playfully as she started taking pictures of him as he undressed._

_Though he guessed it was fair as he had done the same to her. Hadn't even waited for her to be out of her clothes._

_Then again maybe he had never been patient enough with her. Maybe if he had just waited a few more years to ask her to marry him instead of doing it at eighteen, just a few months after high school graduation. Well, maybe they'd still be together._

_"You're hard," Avery mused bringing Luke out of his thoughts and his blush grew as a smirk appeared on his lips. His body moving to sit down beside her on the bed._

_Avery taking a picture of him as he did so._

_"You've never complained about me being hard before."_

_Now it was Avery who rolled her eyes, a blush working its way onto her cheeks. "I wasn't complaining," she told him and again there was almost a whine to her voice. "I was being observant," she shrugged before taking a few more pictures._

_Luke chewing on his lip as he watched her finally put the camera down. Crawling the short distance to where he was and the moment she was right in front of him he reached out, pulling her into his lap as he kissed her softly._

_A moan tumbling out of his mouth as her hands ran through his hair as she kissed him back._

_His brain somehow getting caught up in the kiss as he found a way to move them so that she was laying on her back on his bed. His hand finding its way down to her underwear._

_Not even bothering to rub her through the underwear. He just let his hand slip right in, soon rubbing her in the way he knew she liked to be touched._

_Wanting her to get wetter than what she already was. Wanting to know that for now, for tonight it was because of him._

_Because in the end he was sure there was some nights when she was wet and it wasn't because of him. Knew after tonight there'd be plenty of nights where it wasn't because of him._

_"Lu," Avery hissed out into the kiss as her hips bucked up into his touch. "Going to need you to do more than touch me," she spoke and he pulled away from the kiss looking down at her curiously._

_Hating that he wanted to hear her beg for it._

_"Please," she finally added on and Luke smirked once more as he leaned in to kiss her neck. His lips trailing down her neck at least until he reached her bra._

_His hand that wasn't inside of her panties going to push down one of the bra cups as he let his mouth wrap around her nipple._

_Loving the sounds she made at that._

_He truly loved the way he could still make her come undone even if she wasn't fully his._

_Moving his mouth off her, Luke listened as she whined once again. Which only made his smirk grow as he continued kissing down her body._

_His hand eventually slipping out of her panties as he worked to push them off her. Her legs seemingly parting once her panties were gone._

_Giving him a view of what he was really wanting. Let him see what he wanted to taste just one more time._

_"I love you," Luke told her softly not even sure she'd say it back. "I love you so fucking much Avery," he sighed before leaning in and leaving a kiss on the lips between her legs._

_Avery once again making sounds that he liked. Sounds that continued as his kisses soon turned to licks._

_Her hand once again finding its way down to his hair. Goosebumps forming on his body as she tugged at it some and he half wished it were a bit longer right now so she'd have more to pull on._

_So that he'd feel more pain because maybe he liked the pain she was giving him by pulling his hair. Made him forget the pain she gave him emotionally with how she was fucking wrecking his heart and he was letting her._

_Pulling away from her when he knew she was getting close, Luke looked up at her doing his best to ignore the dirty look she was giving him._

_"Take a picture of me as I eat you out," Luke told her seeing her eyebrows raise in confusion and maybe a bit of hesitance._

_"I..are you sure?" she asked as her hand reached for the camera, despite the hesitant look on her face._

_Nodding his head Luke winked at her before going back in. His eyes falling shut as he went back to licking at her wet cunt. Getting even more of a thrill when he knew she had taken a picture of this moment._

_A thrill that maybe got even better when he had her coming not long after just from his tongue alone. Luke only moving away once her orgasm subsided._

_"I need you in me now," Avery spoke as she sat up some to meet him in a kiss. Luke letting his tongue slide into her mouth, not even caring if she could taste herself on him._

_She'd never complained about it before anyway._

_All Luke cared about was the fact that she wanted him inside of her. That she wanted another orgasm because of him._

_It was still him for these last remaining hours they had together._

*****

_Waking the next morning, Luke opened his eyes as the sunlight came through his window. His hand reaching out for where Avery was laying but of course her side of the bed was empty._

_It was always empty because she left him before he woke every damn time._

_Shaking his head he sat up, spotting a note laying on the pillow on the side of the bed that Avery had occupied. His hand reaching out to pick it up and as he read it he almost wished he hadn't picked it up._

_It was her saying goodbye to him. As well as telling him that she had stolen his Pink Floyd shirt because she didn't want to walk back home to Jessica in a walk of shame in the shirt from last night._

_Luke not understanding how his shirt was any better. It'd probably be even worse._

*****

"So what do you think?" Luke asked as he sat down next to Jessica on his couch. Having invited her over to his house in California to listen to his album which was being released tomorrow.

"I think it's great," Jessica said honestly as she eyed him rather curiously. Luke knowing he probably wouldn't like whatever she said next. "I'm just wondering if my sister knows you wrote and recorded a whole album about her?"

Blushing Luke ran a hand through his hair, which he had let grow out in the three years he had been working on this album. His hair finally back to its naturally curly roots.

"It's not all about her," Luke protested though it was a lie. 

They both knew it was a lie too.

"You're album booklet is full of half naked pictures of her in her bra and panties," Jessica retorted. "She's lucky you had the decency to black out her face so she isn't identifiable."

Luke's blush only grew at that.

"Fine," he sighed as he looked down at his hands. His red nail polish chipped only slightly. "It's all about her and she doesn't know it. I'm not sure she'd like me to show up in her life and tell her that either. It's clear she's moved on while I'm still stuck in the past."

Jessica sighed as she reached her hand over. Letting it rest on top of his. 

"You aren't fully stuck in the past," she told him as her voice went low. Making him look up at her and he got the meaning of what she meant.

Sexually at least he had moved on. After all he was flying between New York and California to fuck Jessica. His dick not having left the Clarke family at all just yet.

"Are you going to tell her about us?" Luke asked softly as he let his fingers lace with Jessica's. "And that you're moving to Los Angeles as well."

Jessica just gave him a look that let him know she had no intentions of telling Avery about them. After all what was there to tell really?

He wasn't dating Jessica. They were just sleeping together.

It was something that had just happened over one too many nights out together after Avery had left them both.

Yet somehow despite him knowing it wasn't anything he was scared for when his ex did find out. Because what if she thought it was something?

Then again, she may not even care if she ever found out.

"I'm going to tell her about the LA thing so she can help me find a house," Jessica told him with a nod of her head. "The other stuff isn't any of her business though," she said so plainly. "But enough about Avery," she told him as she leaned into him a mischievous look in her blue eyes.

"Can we just go to bed together now?" she asked and Luke felt his cock twitch at that. Knowing they'd be doing more than going to bed to sleep.

Because they never really did actually do much sleeping when they were together. It was always just sex.


	3. He poisoned the well, I was lyin' to myself

_But with three of us, honey, it's a side show_  
_And a circus ain't a love story_  
_And now we’re both sorry (we're both sorry)_

_Avery wiped at her eyes as she sat in her apartment in California. Her roommates were being nice and throwing a birthday party for her._

_A nineteenth birthday party and she wasn't even enjoying it. Instead she was sitting in the bathroom crying because she missed New York and she missed Luke but there was no going back._

_She had burned bridges and she couldn't fix them. She had ended her engagement and she had left Luke like it was nothing and now here she was two months later in California on her birthday crying in the fucking bathroom._

_She really was a joy to be around or so it seemed._

_"Avery?" a voice asked as there was a tiny knock on the door and Avery once again wiped at her eyes. "Are you okay?"_

_Sighing Avery nodded though the person on the other side of the door couldn't see her._

_"I'm fine Mike," she lied to the boy who was friends with Skyla, one of her two roommates. "Just...I needed a break from all the people here," she told him as she stood up and opened the door._

_Almost jumping once the door was opened because Michael was close. Much closer than she expected him to be._

_"You're a shit liar," Michael told her as he looked her over. Avery blushing because she felt like the other boy could see right through her._

_In reality she knew he couldn't but it really did feel like he could._

_"I'm not lying," Avery denied her words not tasting right in her mouth. "Skyla and Janie invited too many people and I barely know half of them," she said hoping she sounded a bit more like she was telling the truth._

_Because she sort of was there. She didn't know half of the people Skyla and Janie had invited and she only knew Michael so well because he was always hanging out with Skyla. Enough that Avery was half sure that Michael and Skyla were sleeping together._

_She was also sure it wasn't anything serious either or Skyla would have said. She thought anyway._

_Michael only chuckled as he reached for her hand, pulling her out of the bathroom and she had no choice but to comply with him. Letting him lead the way down the hall and instead of going to the living room where everyone else was he took her to her bedroom._

_Avery raising an eyebrow at him after the door was shut and he turned to face her._

_"You're still a shit liar," Michael said again as they locked eyes. "You were moping over the guy you left in New York City weren't you?" he questioned and Avery hated him for that._

_She truly hated that he had the audacity to bring Luke up._

_She also hated that he knew what she was moping over. That he really did have her pegged down to a t._

_"I wasn't moping over Luke," Avery sighed as she moved to sit down on her bed. "I was just missing New York and him at the same time," she admitted unable to look at Michael though she felt him sit down beside her on the bed. "I think I messed up in leaving and I know it's too late to go back."_

_Michael only let out a small sigh as his hand softly went to rest on her thigh, rubbing it almost in a soothing way._

_"It's never too late to fix things," Michael told her. "If you want to go back and get your man you can."_

_Avery shook her head, "It's more complicated than that," she frowned. "Luke would never take me back. I know I hurt him too much for him to even want me like that again. The last few months it was just sex for him and me and then I just walked out of his life like it was nothing and no one could forgive that," she sighed out, knowing she was rambling. "And I can't just go back to New York. My job is here and I don't want to leave that behind."_

_"Then it seems like you're going to have to learn to adapt or at least fake it until you make it," Michael said like he was speaking from experience. "It's what I did when I moved here from Pennsylvania. I faked it until I made it and then I met Skyla and she's helped some."_

_"Enough that you're happy?" Avery asked him as she looked at him finally._

_Watching him intently as a weird look settled on his face._

_"Enough that a part of my body is happy," Michael answered finally and his answer made Avery roll her eyes as she laughed for the first time that night._

_"That was horrible," Avery told him once she had stopped laughing. "But I didn't mean your dick."_

_Michael rolled his eyes after she spoke, "I didn't mean my dick either," he retorted though they both knew he did mean his dick. "But it's nice to know you're thinking about it."_

_"Shut up," Avery laughed again as she blushed. Her gaze moving off him. "I wasn't thinking about your dick until you mentioned it," she denied as she shook her head again. "Anyway Skyla might kill me for thinking about your dick."_

_"Skyla isn't my girlfriend," Michael huffed out as his green eyes landed back on her and Avery swallowed hard when his hand moved higher up on her thigh._

_The gesture far from innocent this time._

_"But you fuck her," Avery said wanting what she suspected confirmed more than just him saying his dick was happy with her._

_"We fuck," Michael nodded his head as he scooted closer to Avery. His hand never leaving her thigh. "But we've never said we're dating so I'm sure I'm allowed to fuck other girls too."_

_Raising an eyebrow Avery didn't make a move to get away from him or even move his hand. "So you two have never discussed where you stand?" she asked him not sure why her voice was softer all of sudden._

_Almost like they were sharing secrets or about to be sharing secrets._

_"Never," Michael answered without even hesitating in his answer. "I think whatever we have just works better that way."_

_"Or it could make it complicated," Avery shrugged and before he could say anything else she leaned in and kissed him, not even sure why._

_Maybe it was because he had made her laugh twice when all she wanted to do was cry or maybe it was because she just wanted another human's touch._

_She really wanted to be wanted by someone and the person she wanted to want her wasn't here so anyone else would do._

_Just as long as they showed her some semblance of love._

_Feeling Michael kiss her back that was all Avery needed to find a way to maneuver them down on the bed. A tiny moan escaping her mouth as his hand slid up and under her shirt._

_His touch creating goosebumps on her skin as well as temporarily erasing Luke from her mind._

_Making her forget that what she really wanted was to spend her birthday with Luke. She wanted to be in a bed underneath of Luke._

_Preferably after he took her out to some fancy New York diner or something._

*****

_Biting her lip as she looked at Michael dressing, Avery pulled the sheet closer around herself. Hating that she felt like a slut right now. Sleeping with Michael when she barely knew him._

_Then again maybe that was because Michael was the first man she had sex with who wasn't Luke. Even if Luke had been convinced that she was sleeping with other men after their engagement ended and they became exes with benefits or whatever it was they had been for months before she left._

_There had been no other man, not until now and yeah she felt like a slut or cheap in someway. Especially knowing that he was also sleeping with her roommate._

_"Are we just going to ignore this happened now?" Avery finally asked once Michael was dressed. Hating the blush that crept onto her cheeks after he turned to look at her._

_"Do you want to ignore it happened, Avery?"_

_Looking away from him, Avery hated that he was putting the ball in her court. Didn't he know she was fresh off heartbreak and could choose wrong._

_Wasn't their sex proof of that, because she had clearly been moping about Luke and they both knew that and still she had used sex with him to cope._

_She had used sex instead of being out in the living room with her roommates and their friends. People she should really get to know._

_"No," Avery answered honestly with a shake of her head. "I don't want to ignore it."_

_Michael smirked at that as he leaned down to leave a small peck on her lips. "Then we won't ignore it," he told her before moving away to leave her room._

_Avery staying silent as she watched him go. Hoping to god that somehow this didn't come back to haunt her somehow._

_That she hadn't just made an enemy of Skyla somehow._

*****

"You lost on me babe?" Michael asked bringing Avery out of her thoughts and she blushed as she turned to look at him sitting across from her at the kitchen table.

"Maybe," Avery nodded her head. "Just zoned out I guess. Nervous about this mysterious interview I am supposed to have this afternoon."

Michael cocked his eyebrow as he studied her.

"Your boss hasn't texted you and told you who it is yet?"

Avery shook her head as she finished off the cereal she had poured a bit ago. Cereal that was now soggy and a bit nasty.

"No," she said after she had swallowed her bite of food. "I think he's waiting until I actually get to the office," she said as she stood from the table. "Which speaking of can you do the breakfast dishes? I'll make it up and do the dinner ones tonight."

Michael rolled his eyes but Avery knew from the look he was giving her that he'd concede to what she wanted. He always bent to her will eventually in the end.

Fucking always which at times reminded her of the ex she had dreamt about last night.

"Fine," Michael said with a tiny sigh. "But you owe me."

"I know, I know," Avery called out as she moved to leave the kitchen. Knowing she needed to get her ass in gear and leave the house.

*****

Avery just looked at Jason for several long minutes after she had been told who she was expected to interview today. An interview that was taking place at the celebrity's house because he felt it would be easier there.

Because supposedly he wasn't too comfortable with interviews still and being in his own home would make him comfortable. Something Avery felt was bullshit even more so after hearing who it was.

"You want me to interview Luke Hemmings?" Avery asked not sure she had heard him right. The name reminding her that apparently not all ghosts remained ghosts.

Jason nodded his head several times as he looked at her as well for just as long.

"It'd be brilliant Avery," he told her sounding like it actually was brilliant. "Our best celebrity interviewer doing one with her ex," he continued on and Avery almost wanted to be sick at his words. "Did you even know he was making an album?"

"I had heard he was," Avery answered honestly. "I just wasn't sure rumors were true," she shrugged with a fake smile.

"Well, they were and everyone who has heard his album in advance seems to love him," Jason spoke again as he stood from where he was sitting in front of her desk. "The interview is at two and I left his album on your desk. I recommend you listen to it before you go."

Falling silent Avery just made a face as she watched Jason leave. Her hand reaching for the album Jason had indeed left on her desk and once again she felt sick as she saw the image on the front of the CD.

The face was blacked out but Avery wasn't a damn fool. She knew her half naked body anywhere. Not to mention she remembered when Luke took the picture.

"That bastard," she spoke to herself, not even sure if she meant Luke or Jason or both of them.

*****

_Avery who had almost fallen asleep, was awoken to the sound of her phone ringing. Her eyes adjusting to the dark as she opened them. Her hand reaching out for her cell phone which was by the bed._

_Once it was in her hand she squinted down at the screen, seeing Luke's name looking at her. A tiny smile spreading on her face because he had called for her birthday...or well it wasn't her birthday in New York anymore but it still was here in California and he had called._

_But the more she stared at his name, the guilt from earlier came back._

_The guilt of having sex with someone who wasn't him and it was that guilt that compelled her to put the phone back down without even answering him._

_She didn't want to hear his voice and feel worse than she already did. Even if she knew really she hadn't done anything wrong._

_Avery and Luke were no longer a couple and she could fuck whoever she wanted._

_Except maybe if Skyla found out, Skyla might think differently._


	4. Guess we're not immune to love

_It's just a temporary feeling_    
_I'm gonna have to let you go_    
_I'm gonna love you like I mean it_    
_And I don't need to take it slow_    
_It's just a temporary feeling_    
_So I don't need to take it slow_

_"Are you okay Avery?" Jessica asked as she walked to where her sister was seated on the couch, crying and curled up. Her head buried into her legs._

_Jessica hating that her sister was like this but also hating her sister in general for doing this to herself as well. After all Avery had ended her engagement with Luke tonight and Luke had stormed out angry._

_Vowing to find his own place as well as calling their whole relationship off. Something she wasn't sure Avery had truly wanted._

_Her sister had just wanted the engagement to end and yet somehow she had lost much more than just the relationship it seemed._

_But again in the end this was all on Avery's shoulders. If she hadn't been ready for marriage she shouldn't have accepted the engagement. Though even doing that she didn't truly have to end the engagement. Jessica had told her she could just have a long engagement._

_Avery didn't have to rush but if there was one thing her sister was, it was stubborn._

_Avery had always been stubborn to a fault and Jessica always hated that about her. As well as sometimes loving it too because Jessica wished to be that stubborn._

_Maybe then she'd stop letting people walk all over her._

_Avery lifted her head, the look alone on her sister's face being enough to break Jessica's heart as well as make her anger at Avery grow too._

_Because why did her sister do this to herself?_

_"No," Avery croaked out and at that Jessica moved to sit down beside of her on the couch. Her arms slowly wrapping around her sister. "Luke hates me so fucking much and how do I fix that?" she questioned softly. "I..I never wanted to break up with him."_

_"I know," Jessica told her in a comforting voice because she did know that much. "I think Luke just needs time. Time away from you to heal and get over whatever he is feeling," she said knowing what Luke was feeling was rejection._

_It had been written all over his face before he had stormed out of the apartment and Jessica had almost wanted to comfort him as well._

_Not sure if comforting him would have been the best idea. It was her sister who had hurt him and surely that would have been tacky._

_That and Avery may have felt betrayed and she didn't want to betray her sister._

_"And how long will that take?" Avery asked in between sobs, like she really expected that Jessica held the answer to that question._

_Jessica wished she held the answer to that question but she didn't because healing was different in everyone. Getting over rejection was different in everyone._

_Taking a deep breath, Jessica squeezed Avery's shoulder softly, "I wish I knew Avie baby," she said honestly because she wasn't sure. "Just...give him space until then okay. A lot of space because who knows how long this will take him. You two have been tied so closely together since your freshman year of high school and now it's probably feeling like it's all falling apart for him."_

_After she said that Jessica knew Avery probably felt the same even if Avery was the reason for all this._

_Luckily for her though, Avery remained silent and didn't tell her that. Instead they both just sat in silence on the couch. Jessica comforting her sister and Avery letting her._

_Something Avery rarely did because again she was so damn stubborn. Even when it came to depending on people in her time of need._

*****

Waking the next morning, Jessica opened her eyes slowly, blinking several times as her eyes adjusted to the sun coming through. A smile settling on her face as she watched Luke sleeping beside her and looking content.

It was rare that he ever looked content, mainly because ever since things with Avery his brain was somewhere else. Mainly working on the songs about her sister. Songs that were finally out there in the world today thanks to his album releasing.

Jessica never having felt prouder for him. He deserved this and he deserved how much people were flocking to him now it seemed.

All the big music places calling his album one of the best to come out this year after they had listened in advance.

That and one of the biggest magazines there was, was sending someone to interview him today and Jessica knew that would be good as well. Knew it would do him good.

She just feared the moment her sister found out about all of this. Because she knew Avery would probably become a train wreck. 

More so than she already seemed half the time. 

It was one reason Jessica had been avoiding her lately. The other was because of the fact that she was sleeping with Luke and how could she face her sister with the knowledge that she was having sex with the boy who had once been Avery's.

Probably was still her sister's in ways, because no one who had truly moved on wrote the type of songs he did and put them on an album.

An entire album professing his love and the fact that he missed his sister.

Slipping out of the bed, Jessica found her panties from last night and put them back on. Picking up the shirt she had taken off Luke and putting it on as well.

A small smile playing on her lips as she left his bedroom. 

Despite her smile though, she hated the feelings she was having right now. Hated how happy she was getting to wake up next to Luke. Hated how happy he was making her lately because she knew deep down this was only temporary.

She'd be replaced once he did fully move on from her sister. That or fate would bring Avery back to him.

Jessica not sure if her sister would come willingly or not though. After all she had moved on fast after moving to California and was still in a relationship with the first boy she had met out here.

The first boy who had probably shown her affection.

Not that Jessica had any place to judge her sister because it seemed she was the same sometimes. Wasn't that why she wound up in bed with Luke months ago now?

He'd been in New York and they had went out for drinks. Her drowning in the pain of a break up and him still drowning in the pain of the hurricane named after her sister, that had wrecked his life.

The alcohol making her forget briefly as she kissed Luke just who he was. Made her forget enough that she allowed herself to have sex with him.

Only waking up with profound guilt the next morning.

Nowadays the guilt wasn't there much, except when it came to seeing her sister. Which was why she avoided her as much as possible or tried too.

Making to the living room, Jessica found her cell phone where she had left it lying on the coffee table and she picked it up. Deciding to check it before making a quick breakfast for herself and Luke.

Knowing she needed to hurry and leave the house before the interviewer showed up. That and she was supposed to be at Avery's tonight for dinner and she needed to get to her hotel and get ready for that.

Hoping if she had enough time she could get rid of all the nerves she had building inside of her.

Jessica though chewed on her lip once her phone was back on. Seeing three texts from her sister in the last hour.

 **Avery 9:58**  
Did you know Luke was releasing an album and that he was using me in the pictures on the album cover?

 **Avery 10:05**  
Of course you probably did. You're still close to him and he tells you everything. Fuck you for not telling me, that's creepy and a bit of a violation of privacy even if my face is too blurred to know it's me.

 **Avery 10:29**  
If you talk to Luke today, you should tell him that I'm the one who is going to be interviewing him. Just found out that today as well. I'm going to be in such a lovely fucking mood tonight. Maybe we should just cancel dinner at my place and put it off until Saturday, if I even feel up to it then.

Swallowing hard as she reread over the texts more than once Jessica had to sit down on the couch. Not sure how she felt about any of the texts or that it seemed she was right in thinking that fate or the universe one would find a way to eventually bring Avery into Luke's life.

It had and it was going to be today and she wasn't even sure how to tell Luke that. Not when he looked so content sleeping and not when he'd wake up content.

She really didn't want to ruin his good mood, high that he had going on about this album.

Shaking her head Jessica turned her phone off, not even replying to her sister's text because she didn't know what to say or how to respond.

That and maybe if she didn't see them anymore she could just forget they existed. Because seeing them made it real that soon she'd probably lose the boy who had been making her life a bit better and she didn't want that.

Jessica wanted to stay in blissful denial for a bit longer.


	5. I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl

_And New England as the leaves change_   
_The last excuse that I'll claim_   
_I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl_   
  
_And still I can't let you be_   
_Most nights I hardly sleep_   
_Don't take what you don't need from me_

__

Luke hummed softly to himself as he cleaned up after breakfast with Jessica. His day having started off right, because how could it go wrong when Jessica had made pancakes? 

Not just any pancakes either but the chocolate chip kind. His favorite and he hadn't had any in what felt like forever. Years actually because he could vividly remember the last time he had them. It was the day Avery had called off their engagement.

That day just having tainted chocolate chip pancakes for him. At least until today and maybe that had proved he had moved on some. Just a bit.

Clearly not as much as she had since she was in a committed relationship with someone else and he was just fucking Jessica. Not ready to settle down.

Luke wasn't sure he'd ever be ready to settle down again. His brain always reminding him that he could be left again if he tried.

He wasn't ready to put his heart out there like that.

"So what time do you have to leave?" Luke asked as he turned to face Jessica who had been sitting quietly at the kitchen table. Her phone in her hand though she hadn't turned it on. 

Luke hating the nagging feeling like something was on her mind and she didn't know how to broach the subject with him. Didn't she know she could tell him anything?

They actively saw each other naked and if they were doing that, there should be nothing they couldn't talk about. Because getting naked with someone even if it was casual sex was still a vulnerable thing and if you could be vulnerable doing that then you should be more open to that person too.

Or at least that was what Luke thought but his thinking was known to be a bit weird at times.

After all he had once thought he was ready for a big commitment like marriage at eighteen.

"Any time before that reporter gets here," Jessica answered as she looked up at him and as she spoke there was a look on her face that did nothing to ease the voices telling him that she had stuff to tell him.

Nodding his head he finished up the dishes before walking to where she was at, sitting across from her at the table.

"Are you okay?" he asked her as they made eye contact. "Ever since breakfast you've just seemed really off and I don't know if somehow I did something wrong or if something happened but I know something has to be up."

Jessica visibly swallowed hard at his words, letting him know that he was right. Something was up and somehow she didn't want to tell him.

Luke wondering just what could be so bad that she didn't want him to know. His brain automatically going to the thought that she had fallen in love with him and he could understand her being scared of that. Even if he knew that was silly because if she had feelings then they'd end this thing so that he didn't hurt her.

He never wanted to hurt her or intentionally lead her on.

"There is something wrong," Jessica sighed before running a hand through her hair. "I guess..it depends on how you take that statement," she laughed clearly trying to ease the tension in the room.

Tension they were both creating.

"Avery is the person who is coming to interview you," she revealed softly and Luke wasn't sure he heard her right.

There was no way she had said Avery was the reporter coming to interview him, from one of the biggest music magazines there was. He knew she worked for them but clearly Jessica was pulling his leg.

She had to be.

"You're lying," Luke said before he could even stop himself but he knew the moment he said those words, just from the look on Jessica's face that she wasn't lying to him. She was telling the truth.

The reality soon sitting in not long after, something Jessica must have sensed because she didn't correct him at all. 

Feeling like he was going to be sick, Luke stood up from the table wordlessly, walking down the hall and to his bedroom because he just needed some time alone.

He needed to collect himself and he hoped Jessica knew that. He hoped that she didn't see his actions as him being a gigantic asshole to her because he didn't mean it that way.

How could he be an asshole to the girl who had been a constant in his life even when everything changed after Avery left him to come out here?

When he made it to his room, Luke just sat down on his bed as he sighed a loud wary sigh.

In a matter of hours he'd be coming face to face with Avery again after so many years and while he had imagined different scenarios in his head, he had never seen it happening like this. Not under these circumstances and not as such a damn surprise.

In his fantasies his run in with Avery was always a planned one at least by him.

Luke half wondering if this interview had been her idea. His heart almost wishing it was because maybe she had missed him and maybe she wanted to use this as an excuse to see him now.

But his brain was great for the reality check that, that probably wasn't the case. 

Why would she actively want to see him when she was dating someone else? She was probably dreading this more than he was.

A thought which made him sad because when had they become people who turned into bitter exes?

*****

_"Hey, Luke?" Avery asked as she laid beside him in his treehouse. It was the summer before their senior year and in a matter of months he knew everything would probably change._

_She'd go off somewhere for college and he'd probably stay here in Tulsa because he didn't really want to do college. He just wanted to be a musician and you could do that without college, even if there was colleges for music._

_"Yeah?" Luke asked as he turned to look at her, not able to help his smile when they locked eyes. Because he was still as pathetically gone for her as he had been back in freshman year when they started dating..or even sixth grade in middle school when he realized he had a crush on the girl who sat beside him in math class._

_"Can you promise me, that one day when we're old we'll never hate each other?" she asked him and Luke could hear the sadness in her voice._

_Knew why it was there too._

_Her parents had announced today that they were divorcing and really it was a long time coming for them. The past two years they had done nothing but argue and Luke wasn't even sure they loved each other. Despite the fact that they shared five children together._

_Avery being the baby of the five children._

_Luke reached over for her hand which he squeezed softly, his blue eyes locking with her brown ones. "I'm never going to hate you," he told her before moving closer to where she was laying. "Never ever."_

_Avery returned his smile though hers looked more sad and all Luke wanted in that moment was to erase all the things running in her head._

_The idea that one day somehow they could turn out like her parents and hate each other. He was sure she was the last person that he could ever hate._

_Not when she was the one person he'd go to the ends of the earth for._

_That had to mean something and he'd fight like hell to make sure they never grew into her parents. People he knew once the divorce was done would be bitter exes who hated each other._

_"I love you Avery," he spoke before leaning in to kiss her, smiling against her lips when she kissed him back._

_Luke wishing that kisses could make everything better but knowing they couldn't. Though some people always claimed they could._


End file.
